Performed by Adam Sandler and Lisa Mordente

Transcribed by The Brave Raven.

Adam: You don't mind that I think everybody's a robot and all my conversations are being recorded
Lisa: And you don't mind that all of my pants are way too short on me and I also stabbed someone with a pair of scissors a long time ago (ha-ha-ha)
Adam: And you don't care that I collect dead animals from the side of the road then pretend they're alive and think I'm a famous football player
Lisa: And you don't have a problem with me when I follow people I've never met before and force them to look at the portrait of Neil Diamond I have tattooed on my back
Adam: It's very pretty, baby
Both:
Well you must have been sent from above
You're all that I can think of
You're just as psychotic as me
My crazy love
Adam: Well it never bothers you when I wear my snowsuit to bed every night and I make you speak in tongues to me until I fall asleep
Lisa: Blah bloo blah bloo bloo
Adam: Thank you
Lisa: And you don't make fun of me 'cause I still make out with my stepfather and I also tell everyone I was on a UFO for two and a half years
Adam: I believe you sugarpie
Both:
'Cause our love is right on track
I'm yours, your mine it's a fact
Don't forget to take your Prozac
My crazy love
Adam: Well yesterday I tickled a man who wasn't even there
Lisa: Oh three days before that I ran down the street in my Wonder Woman underwear
Adam: I didn't care Babe I know I never had a job 'cause I'm afraid to talk to people 'cause I know that they're all robots who are seeking information
Lisa: They can't fool you sweetheart And I know that you know that I'm the one who burned my cousin Chester's house to the ground but you told the cops we were out ballroom dancing when the came and questioned you
Adam: I ain't no fink, dollface
Both:
'Cause we know that it's true
Only I could love you
We both eat with our hands
My crazy love
Lisa: My crazy, crazy love
(spoken to end)
Adam: Oh I wish everybody was dead except for you, baby
Lisa: I feel the same way Would you throw some macaroni on me?
Adam: Oh yeah, here you go
(splurt)