Words & Music by Steven Page & Ed Robertson

One day I will build a fountain
Drink and never grow old
Then I'll market an elixir
that will eliminate the common cold
Find your sickness on my list
Pay up front and make a wish

One day I will work with animals
All the tests I'm gonna do
All my stuff's completely natural
And when we're done we'll boil 'em
down for glue
that we can use to re-adhere
your lips to mine if you were here

There's a lot I will never do
Some fantastic, I know it's true
But none as much as my want to be with you

I can't stand to wait in line long
So I built a new machine
It just measures up the distance
and then eliminates the folks between

One day I'll construct a satellite
and I'll name it after you
'Cause you were the greatest friend of all
except for when you split my lip in two
To see the look upon your face
as I launch you into space

There's a lot I will never do
Some fantastic, I know it's true
But none as much as my want to be with you

Bye-bye self-respect
I haven't had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you

Some day I will find the secret
to your social chemistry
Then I'll print it on a t-shirt
and it'll make you want to be with me
If I wear it past your work
you'll see other guys are jerks
Much like pheromones for flies
you will not avoid my eyes

There's a lot I will never do
Some fantastic, I know it's true
But none as much as my want to be with you

Bye-bye self-respect
I haven't had much of it since you left
I missed out on the best of you