I got a room down in Hollywood
Rent was cheap
It was this rooming house
There was an old man who lived in the room next to me
We shared a bathroom in the hall
Stare at me through a crack in the door
Day I moved in I was playin' my guitar
Started bangin' on the wall with a boot
Then he came out, started banging on my door
Kicked it open

Watch out son, I got a tasergun
Watch out son, I got a tasergun
He's on the loose
He's got the juice
Like a mad dog with no teeth

Spent his pension in adult bookstores
Bringin strange young men home
He'd leave me notes in the bathroom
Accusin' me of stealin' his toilet paper
Come out into the hallway
Dressed up in a greasy bathrobe

To be continued...