Did anybody notice, over marmalade and eggs
In between the Princess' legs
What with wars and floods and beggars
Not to mention stocks and shares
If you have a moment to spare
Can you write and reassure me that I have seen
They're constructing a time machine
There will be no need for the obituary pages
We can have any hero from the bygone ages
'Til the truth emerges, the argument rages

Chorus:
The major and the minor
Turn from tallow into tar
Should we leave them in their place?
Down in damnation's cellar

When any form of deity that you might enjoy
Can be conjured with a test-tube and a flame
If it's out there then science can explain it
Or at least remove the blame
And if theres is anyone you'd like to see again
The speak up quickly

Send us back Da Vinci then we don't have to ponder
The maddening smile of ";La Giaconda";
The critics say Nijinsky, the dancer, of course
While the punters would probably prefer the horse
You'll find it's quicker than history, cheaper than divorce

Chorus

Bring back Liberace or Ollie and Stan

To be continued...