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Elvis Costello Juliet Letters
Album Viewed
My Aim Is True (1977) 11786
This Year's Model (1978) 8013
Armed Forces (1979) 8690
Get Happy!! (1980) 11089
Almost Blue (1981) 7444
Trust (1981) 8843
Punch The Clock (1983) 6825
Goodbye Cruel World (1984) 6854
Blood & Chocolate (1986) 5961
Spike (1989) 5888
Mighty Like A Rose (1991) 5230
Juliet Letters (1993) 7329
Brutal Youth (1994) 6007
Imperial Bedroom (1994) 8743
Very Best Of-1977-86 (1994) 8939
King Of America (1995) 7538
Kojak Variety (1995) 5576
All This Useless Beauty (1996) 4314
Extreme Honey-Very Best Of The Warner Brothers Years (1997) 6193
Bespoke Songs Lost Dogs Detour (1998) 6897
Painted From Memory (1998) 4849
Sweetest Punch (Songs Of Costello) (1999) 4486
Lyric Viewed
Why? 334
Who Do You Think You Are? 348
This Sad Burlesque 338
This Offer Is Unrepeatable 350
The First to Leave 323
The Birds Will Still Be Singing 355
Taking My Life In Your Hands 368
Swine 321
Romeo's Seance 383
Last Post 327
Jacksons, Monk and Rowe 351
Dead Letter 314
Deliver Us 329
Expert Rites 332
Damnation's Cellar 341
Dear Sweet Filthy World 367
For Other Eyes 328
I Almost Had A Weakness 368
I Thought I'd Write to Juliet 322
The Letter Home 374

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This Offer Is Unrepeatable


DON'T SEND ANY MONEY!
Fate has no price
Ignore at your peril this splendid advice
An invaluable link in an infinite chain
An offer like this will just not come again

You wish you had women to charm and bewitch
Power of life and death over the rich young girls will be swooning
Because you're exciting them
And not only fall at your feet but be biting them

Guaranteed, guaranteed to capture your breath
Or just possibly scare you to death

Sign it and seal it and send it to friends
But don't mention my name
Don't make any long term plans

In thirty-six hours your fortunes will change
Your best friends won't know you
And neither will strangers
Do not keep this letter
It must leave your hand
You have been selected from over five thousand

A twister or dupe will bamboozle or hoodwink you
I can't say more it would only confuse you
The wine that they offer will go to your head
And you'll start to see double in fishes and bread

Guaranteed, guaranteed for a lifetime or more
Guaranteed, for this world and the next
Guaranteed, guaranteed for the world and its mother
Cherish this life as you don't get another one

UNLESS you should take up this fabulous offer
Don't leave it too late or you'll be bound to suffer
And woebetide anyone so woebegone
You won't know you're born or about to pass on

You'll never get tired
You'll never get bored
By the way I just hope you're insured

To be continued...

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