If I was your tv I'd be like ";Look at me";
If I was a shooting star I'd be like ";Peace!";
If I was a fat bitches thong I'd be like ";Hell naw!'
If I was a hotties thong I'd be like ";Awwww...";
If I was a cuss word I'd just be like ";fuck";
If I was a rock on the moon I'd be chillin' like ";Sup?";
If I was a butthole I'd just be an exit
If I was the D.O.C. I'd be like ";man this is bullshit";
If I was the tires on your car I'd be like ";NEEEAAAWWW";
If I was the bumper on your car I'd be like ";Aww fuck";
If I was a balloon I'd be like ";pap";
If I was Allysa Milano I'd be fucking Joe Bruce
If I was a radio DJ I'd probably say ";the point 103";
If I was a richy ass bitch I'd be like ";umm...ok";
If I was Spin magazine I'd put me on the cover and be like ";fuck us! And
I won't read this, even us motherfucker!";
If I was your mental stress I'd be catching up
If I was your headaches every now and then I'd be like ";THONNNKK!!";
If I was your tongue I'd be hating your teeth I'd be like ";Man why do
you try to bite me every time we try to eat?";
If I was a chair I'd be like ";Sit here";
If I was Kid Rock I'd cut my feathered wolf hair
If I was your muffler I'd be like ";Shhh, quietly";
If I was a price tag I'd be like ";You ain't buying me";
If I was a fresh ass DJ I'd be like [records scratch]
If I was Jam Master J I'd be like [records scratch]
If I was a cheap clock radio I'd be like [static]
";Tune that motherfucker in";
If I was Barry White I'd be like ";What up y'all?";
If I was nipple in the cold I'd be like ";Boing";
If I was your dead uncle I'd be like ";.....";
If I was a raindrop I'd just be like ";drip";
And If I had an ax to your neck I might say ";CHOP!";

[Chorus]
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but I'll never be
If I was, if I was, but you're killing me
If I was, if I was. but you're killing me

To be continued...