( J. Lennon, P. McCartney )

Mean mr. Mustard sleeps in the park,
Shaves in the dark, trying to save paper.
Sleeps in a hole in the road;
Saving up to buy some clothes;
Keeps a ten bob note up his nose.
Such a mean old man,
Such a mean old man.

His sister Pam works in a shop,
She never stops, she's are cooked up.
Takes him out to look at the Queen;
Only place that he's ever been.
Always shouts out something obscene.
Such a dirty old man,
Dirty old man.